Posts by Coffee House Girl

41

Thanks for your support JWN!!! Dad dies monday, JW family goes to convention on thursday

by Coffee House Girl in

jw
friends

coffee shop guy directed me to his thread...thank you so much everyone for your thoughts of support, it means a lot to have people who understand and show genuine sympathy.

here's my experience so far.... my father dies monday night & my brother (nonjw) calls me to come home, when i arrive my father is still sitting on the couch- all the jw family is sitting in a semi-circle around him, my non jw brother is standing in the next room.

no one is crying, no one is talking.

Coffee House Girl

Coffee Shop Guy directed me to his thread...thank you so much everyone for your thoughts of support, it means a lot to have people who understand and show genuine sympathy.

Here's my experience so far...

My father dies Monday night & my brother (nonJW) calls me to come home, when I arrive my father is still sitting on the couch- all the JW family is sitting in a semi-circle around him, my non JW brother is standing in the next room. No one is crying, no one is talking. I hug my mom, people talk around me, but it is clearly uncomfortable- no displays of family love for me or my bro. It was so cold and wierd. The first conversations I heard even before they took my dad out of the house was that they were not changing their plans for the convention this weekend....WTF!!!!!!

They were trying to figure out how to rush this so they would not have to change their hotel plans for the convention, so the visitation was Wednesday & they buried him Thursday morning at 9am so they could get on the road to the hotel.

I am pretty torn on that one...I am mad & sad that they left, I feel that the whole process was rushed & respect for my dad and his life was trumped over loyalty to the Borg (which I knew was going to happen to a degree...I thought my mom would react differently though)

They are having a "memorial service" next Saturday at the Kingdom Hall- which is another thing he did not want, they always said that Dad would just have a graveside service since he wasn't a "spiritual" person- but that went out the window & he's having the full Jdub service complete with the typical "timeshare" speech about their doctrine & advertising people to join the publishing cult-

My brother and I spent our time alone remembering him our way...sitting by a campfire, roasting hot dogs and drinking strohs light beer (his favorite). That was very nice & I was grateful for the opportunity.

Thanks again for everyone's love and support- I would be lost without all your advise and experiences!!!

CHG

7

Elders visit today

by truthseeker1969 in

two kindly old gentlemen came to visit to see if i would like to come to the meetings againa.. i explained to them kindly the full circumstances for me leaving and that i had found information that disturbed me a great deal about the background wheeling and dealing within the society and that it was enough to make me have greater doubts about the authenticity of teachings given.. i told them that the cosietys stance towards those who leave and the labelling of "mentally diseased" and "sick" are words that would never come out of jehovahs mouth as he is god of pure love.. the kindly listened while i told them that i indeed miss the congregation and i knew how it was hard for those who know me to ignore me but that was proof enough that such a stance of shunning hurts even those who had nothing to do with any event that resulted in disfelowshipping.. i forcefully told them that those who are labelled as 'apostates" are not out to do anything to the congregation, they are simply people who can no longer believe what is being taught and freely expres, in the majority of cases, scriptural grounds for their disagreement.

many still hold fast to alot of techings as they want truth.. one of them smiled the whole way through the conversation, the other looked at me as if i was the devil!

i told them i respect them for the stance they take in their life but it equates to the stance i take that i will not be told what i believe is wrong and therefor should be accorded the same respect i give to them.. "what is worse?

Coffee House Girl

Excellent job truthseeker...wish I could be that composed and say such succinct things (I get all tongue-tied when those situations occur)

Hope that does "close the door" for you

CHG

31

After leaving Jw's did you go into another religion or serv. god ur own way?

by average joe in

i am just curious if you guys left jw's and now worship in some other relgion or worship in your own way?

have you sworn off organized religion ?

if you have not sworn off organized religion then i wonder what relgion seems to be the right one for you guys?

Coffee House Girl

I'm still pretty early in my departure of JW life....any thought of joining another religion makes me wanna puke- and I don't yet feel like I am serving God in my own way because I do not see the point yet...waiting for something to hit me on the head (but not gonna hold my breath on that one)

Right now I am perfectly okay not knowing all the answers, so I classify myself agnostic (moving in the athiest direction)

CHG

37

Trying to Fade, Now they want to interview me on the SAD!!!

by burnedout in

i resigned as an elder some time ago, have been working on fading, the wife is getting used to the new 'me' (not stressed, better husband and father, etc.

), been missing a lot of meetings... even received a few statements such as: 'hi burnedout, it's good to see you!!!

last sunday, i took my one of my sons to the local dragstrip to show him the races, oops missed the meeting.

Coffee House Girl

That is a tough one Burned Out....I know you dont want to cause further rifts with your wife, but my instincts go with most of the posters...stick to your plan- you want to fade quietly, find an excuse to get out of it (your health, "depression" is giving you anxiety about speaking in public, whatever).

I also others have made in good point in saying that this might be a game to stroke your ego so you will be enthusiastic about the "truth" again...they may have it in mind to find a "last minute" replacement even if you agree to do the interview-

I hope soon you will find peace on the outside (fade complete).

CHG

36

Poster- Life Is Too Short / Recovering from Hernia Operation- Get Well Soon !

by flipper in

jw
friends

my wife and my close friend life is too short is recovering from a hernia operation performed yesterday.

she is doing fine, just a bit sore .

she worked really hard in bethel and had a hernia before from lifting too much in her job back there.

Coffee House Girl

Oops didn't see this till now either,

please get well soon LITS, you are a good wife caring too for hubby (making him go to DR.)...hope both of your health situations improve soon!

CHG

14

Sorry For Not Introducing Myself and Sharing My Story...Here Goes

by ChainedNoLonger in

i was raised a jw and my dad was an elder.

my parents divorced after my dad decided to leave the "truth.

" i was baptised when i was 16, after being severely pressured by my mom to do so.

Coffee House Girl

Wow...thank you for sharing that with us...and welcome

It is amazing how a warped sense of "loyalty" to an organization can make people justify lying (to the cops), blackmailing you, holding your kids hostage...

I know that the elders gave me some really bad advice in the past that really f*cked up my life for a while, but not to the degree that you went through...I am sorry

But it was heartwarming to read that your husband and you have reconcilled, and I know your family (especially your children & grandchild) are doing better too outside of the cult.

It is my wish that you gain some peace and look forward to some better times ahead (yes, it is hard when JW family shuns you...but trust me you are ultimately better off without the truly "bad" influence)

CHG

55

Saturday Morning Musings ...

by snowbird in

one hot, hot thursday, in july of 1987, i worked a half day, drove from wilcox county to mobile county to pick up a sister, then hit i-10 for new orleans to attend the convention which began the next day.. the evening traffic was unbelievable; when i finally arrived and pulled into our hotel parking lot, i was shaking like a leaf in the wind.

we checked in, and after showering, i fell into bed and slept like a drunk person.. the next morning, friday, was a complete blur as we made our way to the superdome.

i don't remember anything that was discussed that day, just the searing heat as we returned to the hotel.. after a long shower, i again fell into a deep slumber.

Coffee House Girl

aaaahh!!!! waking up at 5:30 am to help make sandwiches, wrap bagels and cream cheese, and stirr stinkly pasta salad in an assembly line (with no coffee) for a few hours....then walking like a zombie to line up at the door at 8:30 and mad dash to find our favorite seat (blue section, bottom row-more leg room), and veg out until music started at 9:40, try to stay awake and take notes....and that is just one morning of a three day dessent into hell- (yes some years with no air cond. at the silverdome it felt exactly like hell should feel)

I did always look forward to the drama though- mom would let me eat candy through it and I didn't have to take notes

fast forward to the last convo I attended....was a blurr, I was mentally checked out, and spent the whole time texting to my "worldly" friends...lol- everyone sitting around me thought I was texting my JW friend who was doing parking lot duty- I did any volunteer stuff I could to get out of sitting in that convention hall

so glad to miss my 2nd convo :) thanks for the walk down memory lane

CHG

23

Is this weird? JW FB comments

by serenitynow! in

jw
friends

paradise-related greetings and meetup plans.

on a couple of jw fb sites, people often say things like "i'll see you in paradise," or "i'm going to travel and meet all of you guys in paradise and hang out with your lions.

" and on the jw news, library, etc.

Coffee House Girl

That stuff seems so "creepy" now that I am out...

I remember at international conventions people would hang banners on the last day which said "see you in paradise", or a CO once said it at his last visit before being reassigned- I remember it being a sentimental statement since we knew we realistically were not going to see each other again, but the whole FB phenomenon puts that on a whole new level...eeewww

CHG

25

My dad wont make it too much longer, advise/experiences needed

by Coffee House Girl in

jw
friends

hello all at jwn,.

so my mom called to tell me that my dad wont be able to come back home, he has been on kidney dialysis (along with having congestive heart failure and diabetes and dimentia...) but now he is breaking down and will have to be admitted to a hospice center for the remainder of his time left (without dialysis wont be two weeks).

most of you know my situation, faded (not dfd or dad) but most of my family treats me like i am disfellowshipped except my mom and she keeps getting warnings from elders to cut off dealings with me- my dad is inactive but as head of the household he demands that i be able to visit and take care of mom and dad (so my mom must be submissive to his wishes).

Coffee House Girl

Quandry you said it..your advice encompasses what I need to do exactly- thank you

Hortensia- I am sorry about your mom, thank you for sharing your personal experience, I'm glad you got that time and the end for her

Mad- always appreciate your support thank you

25

My dad wont make it too much longer, advise/experiences needed

by Coffee House Girl in

jw
friends

hello all at jwn,.

so my mom called to tell me that my dad wont be able to come back home, he has been on kidney dialysis (along with having congestive heart failure and diabetes and dimentia...) but now he is breaking down and will have to be admitted to a hospice center for the remainder of his time left (without dialysis wont be two weeks).

most of you know my situation, faded (not dfd or dad) but most of my family treats me like i am disfellowshipped except my mom and she keeps getting warnings from elders to cut off dealings with me- my dad is inactive but as head of the household he demands that i be able to visit and take care of mom and dad (so my mom must be submissive to his wishes).

Coffee House Girl

Thanks all for your encouragement and sympathies, it brings me comfort to hear your thoughts and experiences, no matter what we do- we could cry scream and shout about the cycle of life but it doesn't change the ultimate outcome- I was successful in keeping peace today and holding in my anger in regards to situations I cannot control- (Coffee Shop Guy can babble any time )

Thanks for your support again JWN

CHG